Category Archives: Christopher Hitchens
My wonderful, loving, (atheist) wife today:
1) submitted an application for a rescue dog (on top of the 4 she has given a loving home to in the recent past)
2) paid money to the animal shelter so some more of the animals’ expenses could be waived to facilitate them going to a new home. This was done anonymously (except I suppose I’m blowing that now).
3) turned in a woman’s wallet with a lot of cash, credit cards and personal belongings, (yes, everything is still in there) that she found in the parking lot.
4) objected to me telling you all about all this because she’s gracious and humble.
Just another typical day in the life of a disgusting amoral atheist.
Now enjoy your two minutes of hate. It’s actually over 8 minutes but Christians need more time for hate than they did in Orwell’s dystopia.
I would feel bad leaving you with that nonsense, so here is some reason to cleanse your palate.
I love it when I find agreement with Christians, even if it is for completely different reasons and from polar opposite viewpoints.
Here’s an article by a Christian, properly placing blame on Christians for not keeping “Christ” in Christmas. It’s pretty typical “reason for the season” drivel and admonishing Christians for allowing so much commercialization of the holiday, blah, blah. There is a lot about the article that isn’t relevant to me as a non-believer, but in the spirit of the season, I’ll point out an area of major common ground: Christians’ “war” with non-believers during this time of year is small potatoes compared to the worldview-war they should be having in their own community concerning the “true” meaning of Christmas.
For whatever reason, the Bill O’Reillys of the world think they are in a battle with secularists over the holiday. To some small degree that is true, but not in the way they think. Bill’s culture war should be with his fellow Christians, because the war with non-believers is mostly on constitutional grounds — and much less so about the culture (although I certainly wouldn’t mind convincing the culture not to be Christians).
The culture war surrounding the holidays is a much bigger “war” in scope, but that’s a battle that Christians need to have with themselves, not with secularists. It’s really easy for a non-believing 1st Amendment-lover like me: I don’t believe any tenets of the Christian faith, the Bible holds no value for me, and I certainly don’t think that religion of any sort should be anywhere near the state, the government, nor any public policy. Christmas, or any celebration around the solstice, is simply a celebration of humanity and a recognition of the good things in life. The line for those who are religious gets a lot fuzzier. Christians are confused and disjointed as a group as to where religious/secular line lies, and how it should be toed.
Christians lament the fact that Christ is a minority role player in the theater and pageantry of Christmas. I agree, Christ has almost nothing to do with the modern celebration of Christmas. Christmas is better for it. So, in this very narrow way, I absolutely agree with the author of this article: Christians should whine to each other and try to keep each other in line about “keeping Christ in Christmas”–just keep it off my lawn, away from the courthouse, and leave me out of it — you’ll find much greater disagreement amongst yourselves than you will with me as to what Christmas means to Christians.
Half the time when you meet people who say they are churchgoing Christians, they don’t know what they’re supposed to believe, they don’t believe all of it, they have a lot of doubt, and they go to church largely for social reasons.
~ Christopher Hitchens “Christmas with Christopher Hitchens,” A.V. Club 12/20/07
Since I have ceded the War on Christmas to Bill O’Reilly, and since I have confessed my allegiance to Christopher Hitchens as the closest thing to a deity that I’ll likely admit, and since I feel like celebrating this holiday season, and since I’m a person of the 90’s and a heartfelt Seinfeldian, I’m going to combine my interests and make up my own holiday (see Festivus). My holiday will be Hitchmas, and to celebrate, I will spare you my thoughts on topical matters and view them through the Atheist Prophet’s eyes since he could say it more eloquently from the grave than I could hope to while alive and kicking. It works out nicely in this case, because Christians are often so predictable that their miserable history just keeps repeating itself.
“Nothing optional — from homosexuality to adultery — is ever made punishable unless those who do the prohibiting (and exact the fierce punishment) have a repressed desire to participate.”
~ Christopher Hitchens (God is Not Great)
The general topic at hand is Christian hypocrisy and the specific event is that of the pastor, Gaylard Williams, of Praise Cathedral Church of God in Seymour, IN, and his alleged gay-sex proposition. I do not mention, as most articles do, that this pastor and his church are “anti-gay”. This, to me, is just superfluous language. Any decent church-folk who profess to following the “Good Book” know from Leviticus 20:13 that homosexuals should be killed. Anti-gay is inherent in Christianity and if you don’t believe that as a Christian, then you are doing it wrong. I know, that’s the militant, fundamentalist, atheist in me caricaturing Christianity. I simply can’t bring myself to ignore the actual words that are contained in the book Christians hold in such reverence. You call it theology, I call it hypocrisy: Tomato/Tomahto.
Anyway, back to Hitchmas. In this wonderful time of year, I invite the Reverend Williams into the fold, invite him to drop that nasty book that tells him he can’t be gay, and wade in the warm waters of Freethinking. He will have much less cognitive dissonance and much more gay sex. I will leave the good Reverend Williams with true prophecy from someone with actual predictive ability:
Bishop Eddie Long of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Georgia preaches that Bayard Rustin was a vile sinner who suffered from the curable ‘disease’ of homosexuality. I have a rule of thumb for such clerics and have never known it to fail: Set your watch and sit back, and pretty soon they will be found sprawling lustily on the floor of the men’s room.”
~ Christopher Hitchens [“God’s Bigmouths,” Slate 9/27/10]